For the Long Haul...

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."  ~Aristotle

Before divorce rates skyrocketed and mothers and fathers alike abandoned there children perhaps this statement was all encompassing. In 322BC they probably did not have artificial insemination, or sperm banks that after saving a good penny a woman can walk into and walk out of with the potential of pregnancy. Of course I don't know if turkey basters existed then or if men shared women and that was just OK... but I do know today that the above statement is not 100% accurate.

Ok, so I can see the humor in it all and I actually laughed when I read it but then I was thinking about how wrong it actually is when it comes to me and my family.

I am not their mother, but I believe I love them more then their mother.

Of course we can't compare apples to apples as I didn't go through 9 months of bonding and nesting.. and hell I wasn't even around for the first 5 & 9 years of their lives loving them more everyday. I do know though that after a long day at work leaving me completely frazzled I am excited to see them greeting me at the door with hugs. When they smile, they light up my world, and when they frown I am torn. Their laugh is the most beautiful sound and they are everyday amazing me with their thoughts, dreams, and pretends.

How then can their mother drop them off with us and see them once every 2 months for a few minutes? I would NEVER be able to do that. Give the kid a 3rd degree sentance and I would still be at visitation like clockwork every week. I don't care.

They miss her everyday and part of me wants to tell them the truth. Tell them that their mother doesnt care and she would rather be boozing and gambling all night instead of seeing them. The things is, I have no right to break their hearts like that. Unfortunately little does she know they aren't blind to what is happening. The oldest gets angrier with her everyday. All I can do is reassure him that she loves them... because I believe somewhere deep inside she does as every mother must. Just not the way he needs to be loved.

It may be a different kind of love, but in the end.. I know I love them more. They are not merely a child support check for me. I love them for real... and forever, and I don't care if they ever know it. I know it.